![]() Pursuing their own (uncommon) interests for their own purposes going beyond the usual boundariesĬan I make it as my gifted self in the world of people and things? Is what I have to offer meaningful to the neuromajority?ĭeveloping skills related to their giftedness, performing and collaborating in gifted- authentic ways Is it okay for me to do, move, and act in ways that are unique to my authentic gifted expression? ![]() Learning to occupy, stimulate, and calm their gifted mind self-regulation of intensity Harvey Sallin)Ĭan I trust the world to welcome and nurture my gifted self?īeing recognized as advanced and as having unique needs Gifted-Specific Developmental Stages (as adapted by J. General Developmental Stages (original chart taken from the wikipedia article) Approximate AgeĬan I make it in the world of people and things? If we take Erikson's model (not as a truth, just as a departure point for discussion and reflection) and look at the conflicts that can occur at the various life stages, we can easily see the possible unique traumas, confusion, opportunities and possibilities that gifted people can experience in relationship to their giftedness at each age. Some gifted people experience their lack of self-knowledge as a trauma as it induced existential panic and other terrifying feelings of isolation, invisibility, rejection or "othering" others don't feel it as traumatic per se, but struggle all the same in adulthood with self-definition and social belonging. There are many things (including trauma, abuse, neglect, or other less noxious interruptions) which can curtail healthy development and “task completion” during these stages, and lack of accurate social mirroring or adequate self-knowledge is one of them. STAGES OF PSYCHOSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT FOR GIFTED PEOPLEĮrik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development outline stages and the existential questions one faces in general growing up. We are finally able to find mirrors that are big and complex enough to reflect a non-distorted version of us back to ourselves, and to find out what it feels like to develop all of ourselves in ways that feels true to us as unique (gifted) individuals. (Re)discovering our giftedness in adulthood thus often catapults us into a second (psychological) childhood, where we are finally able to complete the essential tasks of psychological and social development (growing up whole) in more authentic ways which include rather than ignore our giftedness. So lots of us went through our first (biological) childhood trying to develop ourselves into a “normal” person (however that was defined by the world that reflected back to us in our particular social mirror). But we had this “extra” that didn’t fit into the “normal” mirror, and often it felt like all that extra had no place to go and we developed shame and confusion around the "extra" that didn't fit. Many of us were developing ourselves in response to a distorted reflection: a mirror which told us that if we could just be more “normal”, everything would be okay for us. ![]() But nonetheless, growing up not really understanding that we were gifted made us see ourselves and the world in distorted ways. Our parents and the world around us weren’t trying to keep our authentic self-knowledge about giftedness from us, and weren’t trying to force us to develop into distorted versions of ourselves. Thus, their identity development was often done in a less-than-authentic way, through no fault of their own.įor the adults who grew up in my generation, there was no internet, we had to look up books at the library via the Dewey Decimal system, psychology for many of us was still in the realm of “treatment for crazy people”, and most of us knew nothing about the idea of “giftedness”. Their “first” (biological) childhood and its developmental stages - such as developing hope, autonomy, purpose, and trust in self - was navigated during a time and in a context in which when they were missing crucial information about themselves (the fact that they were gifted). FIRST CHILDHOOD: DEVELOPING IN A DISTORTED MIRRORĪfter almost a decade of coaching and mentoring gifted adults, I can say that adult giftedness discovery often propels a person into what I call in coaching “a second childhood”.
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